Que Sera Sera

Well, I have been home for one day, and, all I can say is "Que Sera Sera". I still can't cry or be mad or have any other emotion other than whatever will be, will be...

Strange? Perhaps, but, I've suffered deeper heartache than this in my past including having a true love commit suicide. I guess it's just all a matter of perspective. I guess somewhere deep down I knew it wasn't going work out - it's the only thing I can offer as an explanation as to why I'm not balling my eyes out right now.

As far as the guy the "other guy" (remember the one who I just wasn't into before and I let go just before flying off to Europe?) He's back and he still does not get it. I'm still just not into him, I doubt I will ever be into it, and, he continues to pursue me. I don't need this right now, but, still can't be mean or cruel to him.

Ok, I know, I know - I should consider myself extremely fortunate that I have a guy like that after me, especially since there are women out there who can't get a date with anyone. And, I should be grateful that I am lucky in the dating department that getting a date has never been a problem for me. However, it wouldn't be fair to me or the guy chasing me to lead him on and allow him to think he has a chance at a long term relationship with me. The chemistry just isn't there for me. I'm sorry if that sounds cruel and cold to some, but, if it isn't there, it isn't there. It's that simple.

Right now, all I want to do is get rid of this terrible cold. Get back to work and resume a more normal routine. I will continue to date when asked out, and, in the meantime, I will fall back on my friends as per usual in these cases.